Storytime
by Absoluteroro
Summary: Nursery rhymes interpreted in a new and morbid way, truly a new form of crime rhyme and treason reason .
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Joker does not belong to me.  
This is the beginning of a series of nursery rhyme, Joker themed drabbles I'm writing.  
Based off of the following rhyme:**  
_Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater,  
Had a wife and couldn't keep her!  
He put her in a pumpkin shell,  
And there he kept her very well._

* * *

**"Peter Peter"**

"You look like...you've got a question, go on. Ask me, ask me how I got 'em..."  
(curiousity _killed_ the cat)  
"**Ask me**!"  
"Good, good...so you want to know about the scars, _hmm_?"  
(it's always the scars, great con-ver-_sss_ation starters...)  
"So, there's this guy, guy like me,"  
(**wolf** like me)  
Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater,  
"And he's got this...this wife, beautiful...like you...who tells him she loves him...who says He's her one and only...who **cheats and sleeps with their neighbor**..."  
Had a wife and couldn't keep her!  
"One day...I, get home from work,"  
(honey i'm h_oooo_me)  
"And wifey isn't in the kitchen, as usua_lll_, so...concerned...I go upstairs and, and...I hear noises, from our bedroom...I walk in and find my...whore...of a wife in bed with Todd, from next-door,"  
(no wonder he bought the new Honda Civic, to compensat_eeee_)  
"They cover themselves, but it's too late, I've seen...it...all. I walk over to my nightstand, and open the first drawer, ignoring her _'its not what you thinks'_ and his _'i can explains'_ and pull out the pistol I always keep there,"  
(she hurt me _real bad_)  
"For protection."  
(suburban living ain't all it's cracked up to be)  
"I aim the gun at him, she's screaming _'don't do it don't do it, not his fault'_ and I realize, it really isn't, but I pull the trigger anyways. Then I turn to her."  
He put her in a pumpkin shell,  
"She's crying and shouting '_why_' over and over, and there's snot and tears and she looks...so pathetic,"  
"I get so angry, I mean _really seeing red_, so I ask her why, why she did it. I tell her I'll let her live if I just know why. Know what she says? I was boring. I worked too much and never gave her any attention,"  
(all work and no play makes me a dull boy)  
"I drop the gun, then drag her into the bathroom, and grab my shaving razor, I just want her to know I can have fun, I can laugh, I can _smile_. I want to save our relationship so I take the razor to my mouth...like..._this_....hey,** hey**! Be sti_llll_...now, like this..."  
"And I say, honey I can be fun. I can interest you! Then...I...cut...!"  
"I turn to her, smiling now, look, I'm in-ter-esting, I'm fun! What do you think?"  
"...she _hates_ it. She looks away and screams, she **can't stand** the sight of me."  
"We, uh, _separated_ after that. Very _messy_ divorce."  
(especially after her limbs were separated from her body)  
"Irreconcilable differences."  
And there he kept her very well.


	2. Ring Around The Rosies

**"Ring Around The Rosies"**

We circled each other, two predators, **alpha** males, trying to lay claim to their territory (Gotham).  
_Ring around the rosies,  
_I felt the small, but _oh so lethal_, knife in my gloved hand, running a finger over its serrated edge, licking my lips out of excitement, an unstoppable force.  
He simply stared through dark and piercing eyes, solemn and still and stark, an immovable object.  
_Pocket full of posies,  
_The building around us groaned and bellowed, the framework, scorched and collapsing, writhed at the fire that hungrily licked at the walls and the ceilings.  
Smoke exploded in huge grey billows through the few open windows, clinging to our bodies with her noxious fumes, clouding vision and watering eyes.  
_Ashes, ashes,  
_We lunged at each other, aiming for the jugular.  
There's just no room for the two of us.  
_We all fall down._


	3. Three Blind Mice

**"Three Blind Mice"  
**

Harvey**harvey**_harvey_ Dent.  
Commisione_rrr_ Gordon.  
...the **Batman**.  
Three blind mice,  
He thought he would be able to eat off this city's floors.  
He thought he could scrub this city clean.  
...and **he** thought he could at least give it a good shakedown.  
Three blind mice_,  
_Welll**_well_--  
**Goody goody two shoes**,  
(two_ face_)  
**Got a taste of just how awful food tasted on the cracked cement and spit-on sidewalks.  
(a bit like gasoline **haha**)  
While, get-down-and-dirty Gordon only managed to scrub things raw until they bled.  
(kind of like how all those 'innocent' people did)  
And lastly the Ba_-t_,  
Only managed to shake_up_ a clown in _make_up.  
Their efforts, were fun, but--  
Mice **are not** men.  
They can't do much when there's a hungry dog (gr_rrr_) around.  
See how they run!


End file.
